You dont hate people until...

As the saying goes (at least according to facebook), you do not hate people until you have worked in retail. And as it happens, I have been in that area of work for a few months now, and it really has hit the ultimate standoff between optimism and pessimism during this 'bank holiday'.

I had been blissfully unaware of humanity's annoyances until this month, as previously I was the ice cube in the store freezers with little interaction aside from co-workers, but alas it has all changed now, and my eternal optimism has to face wave after wave of angry looking women who would challenge angry birds for the namesake.

 

Here are a few particular quotes I get day in day out from the downtrodden and depressed, and some reasoning as to why I hate them, and why I prefer to use the self service checkouts when in the reverse role of customer.

"Are you open?"

My own doodle, shop is censored so everyone is happy

So I suppose this is meant to be taken as a polite gesture from a customer who wants to get their shopping done as fast as possible, but do the bright lights of till 15, moving conveyor belt, open swing-door and ANOTHER CUSTOMER STILL BEING SERVED give them any hint? NO!

It does concern me that they ask when I am in the middle of a transaction with someone else, as if the entire store is going to shut down before they put their items on the belt. I also try to put myself in their shoes and wonder why ask that question in the first place, when someone is at a till they are there to scan stuff, so why not just put the stuff there and get it done?

"You looked bored/tired/lonely so I thought Id give you something to do"

A real way to piss me off. Granted, the life of a till monkey isnt a social one unless you happen to get the express checkouts with a few people to chat to, but do I look that way for fun?

I am wrecked because I am after serving a seemingly endless line of tampons and quorn sausages, and when I finally get a breather you show up ready to make me do it all again.

Its not really the initial saying that is bad though, more that it has an accompanying natural law whereby once you scan this dear customer's items, a wild trolley will appear behind them, stuffed to the brim.

Problem?

Can I have a euro for the trolley?

And thirdly, for now is when they ask for a euro for a trolley. This request isnt a stupid one by any means, but more what the customer does to make sure he/she gets one...

Firstly (while I am serving someone else) they will enter from the front doors, and make a robotic walk towards you, making sure they are noticed by you from as many yards away as possible.

still while serving someone else, they will ask for a euro, despite there being a machine by the door! Whats wrong with it, will it try to attack you if you use it?

and of course, I cant open the till until my transaction with the other customer is complete, but the minute it opens, they rush in with their change, their hands about to grab the euro from within

and just walk off like that, completely ignoring the customer who is still awaiting change too you know?

this is a similar scenario...minus the gun...and hooded hoodlums

 

So thats only a glimpse as to my daily annoyances, yet I still carry through, brighter than ever, because hey, someone has to oppose the pessimistic aul ones, and who is better at that?